Some mums love football and others don’t. Some could stare at the champions league table and others could stare at baby pictures instead. If you are camp number two and you can’t stand watching a horde of guys running like headless chickens after one ball this post is for you. The bad news is the World Cup is coming which means potential troubles are real. Your husband and his buddies will probably try to watch all possible matches, perhaps at your place, so there is a huge need for a plan to be set up in advance!
1. Calendar up!
Find a world cup schedule (for example here: link) and make it sacred when your national team is going to play (if you support England it will be 18.06, 24.06 and 28.06 with potentially more dates to come if they play well). Btw your husband may be super impressed finding out you actually know the date of the game! Plan meals, or order a pizza. Your husband will love you for the fact you took care of filling the fridge with his favourite beer and getting some snacks done.
2. Team up!
With other poor ladies:) Arrange a football watching area in your place, let your hubby invite his friends and sneak out to one of their places to meet their partners for a “Grease” night, “Mary Kay” taster session, “ladies only photo shoot” or wine and crisps night in. All you have to do is decide who is staying with the kids. But with loads of time, you can definitely organise something in advance.
3. Play hard
…and watch the game with your husband. Some players are actually a visual pleasure to watch. As long as you learn basic football rules or stay quiet for about 90 mins…I know, impossible. So take the advantage of this little helper:
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a night before the game, see who is your team’s coach, learn few key names of the top players and check who they are going to play against (start learning here: link). That’s kind of crucial. It’s advisable to memorise few sentences from the internet articles you can drop suddenly like “Panama seems to be weak on defence but so and so has been a revelation over last game against…” Don’t be surprised if your husband will drop his jaw or choke…Brownie points earned.
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if you hear him shouting like “Whaaat?! It wasn’t a fault!” – don’t argue, even if you think otherwise, even if the ref thinks otherwise, even if the whole world of football thinks otherwise. Full stop.
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You really should learn what the “offside” is…pull a Bambi face and ask your husband so he can feel like “she is not going to get it anyway” but be clever and learn that first so you can answer back and make him choke again (here is an amazing link with an explanation designed for ladies: https://www.bone.me.uk/offside-rule.php)
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In case you need help with first aid for choking, read this: http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/first-aid-advice/breathing/choking-adults.aspx
But if you don’t have time to get yourself prepared at least try to keep your mouth closed and remember the list of forbidden questions:
1. Who is playing?
2. Which t-shirt colour is ours?
3. What does the off side mean?
4. How long left?
Or leave the house for 90 mins. And save your relationship:)
Happy game! Feel free to share it with other “football wives”:)
